Yes, it is absolutely positive to have gone years feeling trapped by the confusion to a place of complete freedom. Of course there will also be required a detailed look at the childhood history of the client. At that point the man will need to move more closely to doing activities that his sexual orientation confusion would have precluded him from doing in the past.
Masculine gay men in therapy how to#
The treatment is primarily focused on trying to learn how to live with the confusion and not have it control the life of the man. A therapist and client can spend weeks, months and years going in circles trying to help uncover the ‘true’ or ‘authentic’ sexual orientation for the individual. Treatment for men with sexual orientation confusion is often counter-intuitive as it requires no longer trying to determine what one’s sexual orientation actually is. IMPORTANT: Treatment is NOT about moving from one sexual orientation to another. The exact same is true for a heterosexual man. They may but it will be experienced as a curiosity and not lead to sense of sexual orientation confusion. This is not to suggest that the homosexual man will not at times feel attracted to women. If the experience is positive the man will grow in confidence and comfort in their sexual orientation. This man would then venture to have a healthy sexual experience with another man.
For example, a young homosexual man would first feel drawn to other men. Each positive and healthy experience simply reinforces ones sense of self as a sexual being and as a result they will not experience a sense of confusion around their sexual orientation. These negative sexual experiences reinforce a sense of sexual orientation confusion and a man travels down further into the confusion.Ĭonversely, men who have healthy, positive sexual experiences grow in confidence with regards to their sexual orientation. Often the resulting sexual experiences which are now framed through a negative sense of self will create negative sexual experiences. The negative expression of self will be present as the child grows in sexual development. For example, if a child is sexually abused that specific trauma will effect how the child feels about themselves. These pains or hurts would have shaped how a man feels about oneself and negatively effect the subsequent sexual experiences. Sexual orientation confusion is often connected with pains that took place in early development.
If somehow there were a magical blood test that if taken could determine with certainty ones sexual orientation it would not be surprising if the majority of men on the planet rushed to take it. The simple fact that there is no objective way of knowing for sure is what causes so much pain in men. Sexual orientation is a deeply subjective experience. The ultimate truth about sexual orientation is that there is absolutely no concrete way of knowing for sure what one’s sexual orientation actually is. It is that feeling of not knowing for sure what one’s sexual orientation is that creates much pain in a man’s life. Sexual orientation confusion is not explicitly about determining what one’s sexual orientation actually is but rather it is more about moving through the feeling of confusion. Those three simple words of, “Am I Gay?” or “Could I be Gay?” can have a tremendous impact on a man and all the relationships in the man’s life. Sexual orientation confusion is a deeply common experience for many men but so rarely spoken about. It is about feeling trapped or stuck by never feeling comfortable or knowing for sure what one’s sexual orientation is. This section below is specifically around sexual orientation confusion. We honor, value and accept all men equally regardless of sexual orientation. The discussion below is not about changing or repairing one sexual orientation to another. It is imperative to begin with clearly expressing that there is no judgement on what one’s sexual orientation actually is.